Time sure changes things

I have been a bad blogger and have not updated for well over a year. So much has changed in the last year. Robin and I have been separated for a year and I am moving on with my life. I had gastric bypass surgery July 12, 2012 the original surgery went off textbook. However in late August I started to experience uncontrollable pain after 13 visits to the ER here in Windsor being called a junkie on the last visit I made the trip with Phoenix on the train back to Toronto. The train ride was interesting because of the pain but I made it to the ER in Toronto at 7 pm and was admitted half an hour later talk about night and day treatment from one hospital to the next. The ran a bunch of tests and still could not pin point what was causing the pain or the nausea so opted to do an exploratory surgery on October 4. They found scar tissue bands on my intestine where it attaches to my new stomach and then where it reattaches to my intestines the scar tissue was causing intermittent blockages which was causing the extreme pain. Would have though that was the end of my wild ride. I was down a total of 183 pounds from date of referral to the second surgery. I am very happy with this weight loss and still have about 45 pounds to go. Now for my next big change a nice but unexpected surprise I ended up with a miracle. Liam is due July 10 and I can't wait to hold him and see his precious face. This is not the way I wanted to have my bundle of joy all alone without his father in the picture but that is the hand I am dealt and I will make the best of it. I will do my best to update more often in the future

Out with the old in with the new

Robin and I have separated its over well it was over a long time ago I knew it deep down. It was a shock the way he left and took me a couple weeks to get over that with my anxiety going into a relapse but I am great now.
On May 18th I meet the surgeon for my consult and to get my surgery date. I have lost exactly 100 pounds from the day my referral went in. Very excited about that.
I have also met someone new we are taking things slow and one day at a time but I am happy a lot happier then I have been in a long time. Thank the goddess for small wonders.

Good Bye to friend

Today is the memorial service for a good friend Justin Burk. He passed so suddenly it took us all by surprise. There isn't a day that does by since then that I shake my head in disbelief. Whether it is not seeing some snide comment or status on facebook or not seeing you sign into msn. Justin was one of our first friend's when we moved to Windsor. He has touched our lives in a great way. Saying good byes are never easy.
Miss you lots Justin the goddess called you home

Invisible disability

I have an invisible disability that I call attention to because I use a service dog. There are times like today when I begin to question whether the benefit of having him is worth all of the discrimination that I get because of him from places where I shouldn't feel discriminated against. My doctor's office. I go to a community health center that has everything from social workers, nurse practioners, foot care specialist, dietitions your name we have access ot it through the health center. However lately I am being made to feel like I have no right to be there with Phoenix. Today I had an appointment with my social worker. I get there the already tiny waiting room is crowded check in and go to find a seat haven't even had a chance to put my health card away and already it has started. Another patient gives Phoenix and I a dirty look and right away excuse me I am afraid of dogs you need to move. I calmly explain that this is the only place to sit and he is a service dog and has every right ot be there. The othe patient is curtious Oh Ok, then could you hold on to him so I can move. Sure no problem not a big deal. Still havne't had time to get my health card away let alone get Phoenix tucked in and under my chair when the Nurse is on me saying we need you to move you are in the way of a doctor who is terrified of dogs. Please keep in mind this has all happened in a matter of 2 minutes. I am also sitting in one of the few chairs that don't have arm rests so I am actually comfortable. I tell the nurse give me a minute and Phoenix will be tucked in and out of the way. Nope we are told to move (health card still isn't in my wallet) Well of course this sets off a panic attack. This isn't the first time this has happened. We were there yesterday for another appointment and people had to ask me where Phoenix was because he was tucked so well under the chairs the doctor who is terrified of dogs walked right past him without any issues.
Because of the panic attack I had to leave the situation, thankfully my social worker came and got me outside and I was able to have my appointment. which now instead of disscussing my progress with my anxiety treatment plan is now spent disscussing the current situation. I totally get that people are scared of dogs i understand that I am scared of things too, some to the point that if in the pressance I go into a paralyzing panic attack so I get fears all too well. It is always the same nurse that is making me feel like I am not welcome there and she is a great person I just don't understnad where this is coming. The receptionists have a habit that if the doctor or nurse practitioner i am seeing isn't in for some reason on a day when I have an appointment they schedule me with the doctor who is terrified of dogs and do not tell me. Then when I get there I am asked to leave Phoenix in the waiting room. This is just not acceptable I have every right to be there and to be treated with respect the same as any other person. Just because I have an invisible disability does not mean I am the scum of the earth since I have a service dog.

2 appointments done

Well this week I got my abdominal ultra sound and sleep study done and out of the way. Which means I am 2 steps closer to meeting with the surgeon. I am really hoping that by getting as much as I can get done and over with now that this whole process goes a lot quicker. My referral went in on December 17th it would be really nice to have had my surgery well before then this year.
I have started my journal am going to monthly support group meetings researching and educating myself on the surgery lifestyle changes diet afterwards complications pretty much anything I can.

Got my orientation date

I am so excited my journey to gastric bypass surgery is really on the way my referral went in on December 17 2010 and my orientation is on May 12 2011 one step closer to having a family of our own yippie

Where has time gone?

Today is our 7 year Anniversary. Its hard to believe that it has already been seven years. There have been hard time but there have been a lot more good times and many happy memories. We would have thought we would have had our family complete by now however that is a work in progress. We do however have 6 furry children. Our cats and my service dog in training. They keep our hearts full of love and smiles on our faces. In this last year so much has transpired. I got diagnosed with severe Generalized Anxiety and was unable to work due to my anxiety. I applied for ODSP and after 7 long months was finally approved now I am waiting for it to actually kick in. I have also started the journey to a healthier me. The referral for gastric bypass surgery was put in in December. I am half way through waiting for my first appointment. I have started going to Aqua fit three times a week and have been busy training Phoenix. Life is still difficult but I am slowly becoming slightly more independent again. I have to thanks my wonderful husband for all he has done for me. Here is to many more years together as wonderful as the last seven have been