New Doctor tomorrow

Well I am going for my medication consult with a psychiatrist tomorrow well today now. As if my anxiety isn't already out of control I get some one else new thrown into the mix. I would just like to feel in control of myself once more. I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle all by myself. I do have supportive friends and my DH is supportive most of the time but he isn't being the rock I need right now. Everything seems to be crumbling down around me. I can't even tell anyone what it is exactly that I am afraid of or worries me or even makes me anxious. This is the part that is the most frustrating. It is hard to make people understand that to me these fears and worries are very very real. I also constantly feel like I have to validate myself to everyone thoroughly explain my reasoning or myself and if I don't the anxiety starts to overwhelm me.
I have people telling me that I need to let things just roll off my shoulders or not let things freak me out. I try and all I end up doing is getting more anxious and stressed about it and then I end up not sleeping, even with taking a sleeping pill.
I feel ashamed of all of this and as if I am being punished for some reason. Again no reason to feel like I am being punished I just do.
There are a lot of times I feel like I am still a child looking for acceptance affection and love.
I am broken into a million pieces that aren't fitting back together again. I have my soul mate beside me but my whole essence is a jigsaw puzzle missing a few key pieces.
Is there anyone out there who can take my hand and guide me through this dark tunnel to the light that I know is at the end of it somewhere? I am lost in this maze. I can no longer be everyone else s. This rock has crumbled, Hummpty Dummpty can't be put back together again.